I m not the brightest crayon in the boxEveryone says I m dumber than a bag of rocksI barely even know how to put on my own pantsBut I m a genius in France yeahgenius in Francegenius in FranceHoom chaka laka hoom chaka laka hoom chakaI may not be the sharpest hunk of cheeseI got a negative number on my SAT sI m not good lookingand I don t know how to danceBut nevertheless and in spite of the evidenceI am still widely considered to be aGenius in Francegenius in Francegenius in FrancePeople say I m a geeka moronic little freakAn annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physiqueIf I was any dumberthey d have to water me twice a weekBut when the Mademoiselles see methey all swoon and shriekThey dig my mystiquethey think I m c est magnifiqueWhen I m in Par-eeI m the chic-est of the chicThey love my body odor and my bad toupeeThey love my stripey shirt and my stupid beretAnd when I m sipping on a PerrierIn some cafe` down in St. TropezIt s hard to keep the fans at bayThey saySign my poodle, s il vous plait"Sign my poodles il vous plait"Hemenene humenene himenene homenenePoodle...poodle...Folks in my hometown think I m a foolGot too much chlorine in my gene poolA few peas short of a casseroleA few buttons missing on my remote controlA few fries short of a happy mealI couldn t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heelInstructions on the heelInstructions on the heelBut when I m in ProvenceI get free croissantsYeahI m the guy every French lady wantsAnd if you ask em whyyou re bound to get this response:He s a genius in France! Genius in France!That s right! He s a genius in France! Genius in France!You know it! He s a genius in Francegeniuse in Francegenius in France!I m not the brightest bulb on the Christmas treeBut the folks in Francethey don t seem to agreeThey sayBonjour, Monsieur, would you take ze picture with me?I sayOui ouiThat s rightI sayOui oui"Oui oui"He saysOui ouiI m dumber than a box of hairBut those Frenchies don t seem to careDon t know whymon frereBut they love me thereI m a genius in FranceYeah...I m a genius in FranceGonna make a big splash when I show up in CannesGonna make those Frenchies screamYou ze man! You ze man! You ze man!Like a fine Renoir waa!I ve got that je ne c est quoi quoi!Like a fine Renoir ooh la la!I ve got that je ne c estQuoi quoi quoi quoi quoioo-we-ooQuoi quoi quoi quoi quoioo-we-ooBow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddyBow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddyBowI m a taco short of a combo plateBut by some twist of fateall the Frogs think I m greatOhthe men all faint and the women screamThey like me more than heavy creamWhen I m in VersaillesI m a popular guyMy oh myI m as French as apple pie apple pieThey think I m awfully wittya riot and a halfWhen I tell a stupid jokethey laugh haw haw haw haw hawAnd laugh haw haw haw haw hawPeople in France have lots of attitudeThey re snotty and rudethey like disgusting foodBut when they see methey just come ungluedThey think that I am one happening dudeBowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowmI m about as sharp as a bowling ballBut they like me better than Charles de GaulleEntre nousit s very trueThe room temperature s higher than my IQBut they love me more than Gerard DepardieuHow did this happen? I don t have a clueWell...I m not the quickest tractor on the farmI don t have any skills or grace or charmAnd most people look at me like I ll covered with antsBut I m a genius in France yeahgenius in Francegenius in FranceAnd I m never goi
n backI m never goin backI m never never never never goin back home againI m tearin up my return flight ticketGonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it Cause I m never goin backI m never goin backI m never goin backThe girls back home never gave me a chanceBut I sho nuff got them Frogs in some kinda tranceAnd I m aware that it s a most improbable circumstanceBut GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILYI m a genius in FranceEvery Frenchie that I meetJust can t wait to kiss my feetGet in linepucker up! Tout suite!Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddyI m gettin even more famous by the hourNow they re puttin up my statue by the Eiffel TowerA little more to the leftboysa little more to the leftA little more to the leftboysa little more to the leftI m the biggest dork there is aliveMy mom picked out my clothes for me till I was 35And I forgot to mentionI m not even welcome at the Star Trek conventionBut the Frenchies thinkThat my poop don t stinkI m a genius in FranceSay....would you pass the Grey Poupon?Merci beaucoup

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