IntroLook....If you hadOne shotto sit on your lazy buttand watch all the TV you ever wanteduntil your brain turned to mushWould you go for it... or just let it slipVerse 1YoRemote is readyeyes widepalms are sweatyThe Flinstones on the TV alreadyWilma and BettyNo-Virgin The Channel surfin and I m HD readySo I flipgarbage is all i m gettingThere s Simon CowellWho folks want to disembowellHe opens his mouthalways says something fowlThey re dyin wowwannabees are cryin nowHe votes them outtime to throw in the towelShows based on realityOh! the humanityOh! Ozzy s familySho loves profanityOh the insanityOhdogs that crap and peeHome of depravityNothey live happilyPlus "Da Ali G Show"And "Celebrity Mole"Oh theres "Anna Nicole"Well she s scarin meLook Ma no cavitiesOhits a station breakBetter go off to the kitchen and microwave somethingChorusYou re gonna Lose Your Mind watchin TVThey told methey scold meBut i still tune in every showMy cable gets C-SpanTV Landand HBOThe Travel ChannelDiscoveryand LifetimeYou re gonna Lose your Mind watchin TVThey told mecajoled meturn off those music videos no!I m gonna watch C-SpanTV Landand HBOTheHistory Channel and QVC and Lifetime You re gonnaVerse 2My butt is achingAs I watch NASCAR racingThat show about undertakingLarry KingTo 24 to Law and OrderThe Weather Channels boring like 60 minutes anciant reportersNext up on E! True Hollywood StoryThe rise and decline of 12 actors name CoryShows for next fallthey ve already been name nCSI: BoiseTouched By an Uncleboth sound pretty lame nSo does Everybody Tolerates RaymondThe "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minuteI can t believe Richard Simmons ain t in itI move right onto "8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter"Then I betI ll watch "The Bachlorette"Followed by Welcome back KotterAnd The Muppet Show where they go "Mahna Mahna"ChorusYou re gonna Lose Your Mind watchin TVThey told methey scold meBut i still tune in every showMy cable gets C-SpanTV Landand HBOThe Disney Channel and A&E and LifetimeYou re gonna Lose your mind watchin TVThey told me cajoled meBut I still love Lisa Kudrow drowI m lookin at C-SpanTV Land and HBOThe Playboy Channel and Court TV and Liftime Your GonnaVerse 3Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"I ve seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without a Trace"I ve only seen "Will and Grace" one timeone dayWish I hadn t cause TiVo now thinks i m gayAnd "Fear Factor" I watched only a half hourAfter that I felt like I needed a long showerNetwork exects with naked ambitionsNext week on FOX watch lions eat ChristiansLike tie up those programming plannersMake em watch all ok that junk until thier heads explode just like"Scanners"Leech-Covered grub-eating fool on "Survivor"Look there s James LiptonDisscussing the Ouvre of Mr. Rob SchniederAnd theres Gilligin and SpongeBob plus Theres McGuiverAnd Jay Leno has got Madonna hey there s Luke PerryAnd a special all pig-latin episode of "Drew Carey"Gotta turn on ETcause i m a gossip freakAnd I gotta know who J.Lo is marryin this weekA 30 second spot then I come back to "Are You Hot"I was plannin on recording "The Sapranos"I forgotI love shows wit or without a plotI ll stare til my legs are numbmy eyes bloodshotBecause i ve only have got one brain to rotI m gonna spend my life watchin television a lotChorusYou re gonna Lose Your Mind watchin TVThey told methey scold meBut i s
till tune in every showMy cable gets C-SpanTV Landand HBOThe Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and LifetimeYou re gonna Lose your mind watching TVThey told me cajoled me turn off that "Oprah Winfrey Show" noI gotta get C-SpanTV Land and HBOThe Learining Channel and MTV and Lifetime your gonnaYou can watch anything you want to man

- Back to the Songs of the Album Poodle Hat

- Back to the Weird Al Yankovic's Albums